STRANGE CHANGES

My feelings are not under my control anymore. They haven't been for weeks. Uncontrollable moodswings swerve me from normal to panic on a moments notice. What does all this mean?

"Hi stranger, I don't know you. How are you this morning? How will you feel today?" This would be a good line to say to my mirror image while shaving. I have been experiencing these downs for about 6 weeks now, and I am becoming scared. What if it a tumor in my brain, an effect of the years of drug abuse? It would make my worst nightmare come true: Dying without accomplishing anything. Dying without the satisfaction of being done with the world. Dying but still being hungry for more. Wow, even writing that makes me terribly scared. My mother died two years ago, and this was a trauma for me. She had juts retired at 64 and now had the best years ahead of her. She was full of positive energy for the future. She was diagnosed with cancer, and within half a year this wonderful human being was reapt away until there was only skin and bones left.